Lent Day 43: Denial

I’m reading a book by Michael Card on Peter called, “Fragile Stone.” As he is introducing Peter he states that next to Jesus it is Peter whose character is most developed and presented. Perhaps that’s why so many are able to identify with Peter: there’s just so much of his story that we can relate to some part of it. For example, who of us can’t relate to Peter’s desire to stay on the mountain, or loss of focus when the waves rose around his feet, or boast of allegiance only to find himself in the pit of betrayal? Peter spoke before he thought and acted just as rashly. Just ask the earless soldier in the garden.

It’s a funny thing, betrayal. Most of us don’t get up in the morning and decide that it’s a good day to turn our backs on God. I believe Peter was absolutely sincere in his declaration that he would follow Jesus even to death. He honestly felt he had left everything to follow Jesus. Peter didn’t feel like the voice of Satan when he tried to dissuade Jesus from his unreasonable thoughts of death.

Most people feel that Peter’s denials were verbal in nature. The more I read the story, the more I see that his denial went far beyond mere words. Mark’s gospel is Peter’s story and I believe it gives a pretty clear picture of the expanse of Peter’s denial.

First, see Peter going to the Garden of Gethsemane. More than once, Peter has been pulled aside with James and John for some special moment. Here, Jesus needs the support of his closest friends. Now, whether the day had been long or there had been too much wine at dinner, these friends who should have been supporting Jesus kept falling asleep. It was a denial of how much Jesus needed them. It was a denial and a lack of attention. Jesus warns them that if they don’t pay attention, they would become easy prey for the enemy’s temptations. It was a denial of Jesus and a giving into self. This denial is in Peter’s attitude towards the moment.

Then after Jesus is led away by the soldiers, Peter denies Jesus by his behavior. Mark tells us that Peter followed far behind. Peter separated himself from Jesus. He watched from afar. He didn’t want to be caught. He didn’t want to be noticed. Where was the bold Peter who claimed he would follow Jesus all the way? When the going got tough, Peter took cover.

Then, just before the cock crowed, Peter denied Jesus once again. This time he denied him with his words. He didn’t hide well enough and was spied. When the people in the crowd pressed him, he used strong language to deny that he even knew Jesus. Peter may have been a fisherman, but he had a “sailor’s mouth” and he knew how to use that language. And when he did, the people stopped pestering him about it. Surely, someone who walked with the Master wouldn’t talk like that.

Attitude. Behavior. Speech. And when the cock crowed Peter’s eyes found Jesus gaze. Do you know that moment? Have you felt the absolute shame that comes from knowing you have denied Jesus? Peter was broken and he ran away from the gaze. Thankfully he didn’t stay away. But we’ll talk about that tomorrow. For now, I invite you to look into your heart and ask God to show you your own denial. And once found, find also his forgiveness.