Thoughts on Prayer

How many times have you heard someone fussing or fuming about not feeling like their prayers were answered? Like a little child who wants it all and wants it now, even if it’s not good for them, we stomp our little feet before God and demand with all the maturity and understanding of over-tired two year old. How God must shake his head at us.

You see, I live with a two year old, who is often overly tired, and who wants what he wants when he wants it—and get can get pretty vocal when my response is no, or not yet, or wait. He is only able to sense the moment and has no idea of time or the vast array of consequences. He has some trust of me and my ability to provide, but that can be overshadowed by the hugeness of his immediate want. How come I don’t get it? Why am I being so awful and withholding? Or worse yet, he thought I could do anything—now, he’s just not so sure.

Sound like anyone you know? Spiritually speaking, as adults we can get pretty caught up acting like my grandson. I’ve learned a few things about praying over the years. Here are a few things that have helped me:

First, hang on. Just because our need or want is pressing and we feel its intense urgency doesn’t mean that we’re going to die if that need is not met immediately. We have to trust that life is process and just like an assembly line, we have to wait for everything to be in place. It’s not good to rush the process. As fruit takes time to ripen our lives are involved in a maturing and growing process, too. When I think of this I am reminded of how Sarah tried to rush God’s process by providing Abraham with her maid servant to create the child God promised. It seemed like an option, but it was disastrous and we’ve been paying the price ever since. Or think of Joseph in the prison in Egypt. I’m sure he and God had some long talks. I’m sure he wondered how long and where was God. But if you read the story in the end he was right where he needed to be to not only meet the needs of a country, but also his family. In the gospels we read a powerful phrase: in the fullness of time. This basically means: when all the pieces come together. Trust that God is working and watch for the pieces to fall into place.

Another thing that I have learned is that prayer is conversation with God. Now that means a couple things to me. First, I don’t have to get all fancy or follow some format to have a conversation with God. No fancy phrases or formulas are required. There’s no magic to it except just doing it. A friend was asked to bring the morning prayer in church one Sunday, a typically formal activity. As he began to pray he asked God to “slap some wonder on us.” A giggle escaped me, I was overcome by the simplicity and joy of that kind of praying. So many don’t pray because they think it has to be done a certain way or contain certain words or close a prescribed way. Do you worry like that when you’re meeting a friend at a coffee shop to visit over a latte? God wants us to talk to him, share what’s on our hearts and what’s troubling our minds. And then, he wants us to listen to his words of comfort, direction, or correction. That’s the way a conversation works.

Finally, and this is a relatively new concept to me, have you ever considered the “unprayed answers” in your life? These are the graces that come our way when we haven’t even asked, perhaps before we even knew there was or was going to be a need. It was like someone was watching and anticipated what we would need and was there right on time with a provision that we hadn’t expected or sought, but definitely needed. The writer of Lamentations puts it this way: The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day (Lamentations 3:22-23). So the next time you’re tempted to grouse about the way your prayers seem unanswered, thankfully run through a list of God has graced your life, anticipating your needs, and showing up right on time with exactly what you needed.